15 1 / 2012
More Like Ruth and Less Like Naomi
I feel like a silver of the person I used to be. I am full of bitterness and angry after Nate’s death and I am taking it out on the only person who has been there for me through out. I cry without reason because I’m scared, I cry because I am sad, I cried not because something is wrong but something could be wrong.
I don’t know how to fix this but my pastor may be right, it is harder to be angry alone then in community. I’m scared of God, of what more he can do to me or my family, but I also miss my relationship with him. This seed of anger that I worked so carefully to make sure was not directed at Islam but it became anger and bitterness at God. I need to just accept that there is sin in the world and slowly become more like Ruth and less like Naomi.
